The best texts and dialogues of SpongeBob and Patrick: funny SpongeBob quotes 2025
Join us for a collection of the best dialogues of SpongeBob and Patrick, as well as the text and lyrics of SpongeBob and Patrick, the best friends of the cartoon world.
The world of SpongeBob animation has a special and attractive atmosphere. Each episode’s adventures are independent of the others and use a variety of visual features to convey their meaning, such as close-ups of objects and facial expressions, real images, audio features such as musical pieces, and mainly long speeches. Suppose you are looking for the best dialogue between SpongeBob and Patrick. In that case, we suggest you stay with us until the end of this article.
About SpongeBob and Patrick
Patrick is a lazy, overweight, slow-witted, pink starfish who lives under a rock in the underwater city of Bikini Bottom, next door to Mr. Octopus in Moa. His most prominent character trait is his lack of common sense, which sometimes gets him and his best friend, SpongeBob SquarePants, into trouble. Patrick is unemployed and a self-professed expert in the “art of doing nothing.”
Best SpongeBob and Patrick Dialogues
SpongeBob: I’m ugly and useless
Patrick: Why are you useless . . . You make other people feel better about themselves.
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This is just a cruel reminder that I’m single and will probably stay that way forever.
SpongeBob
Mr. Krabs: It’s not always what you say that matters; sometimes, it’s what you don’t say that matters.
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You know, I feel better, but I don’t remember why I was upset in the first place!
SpongeBob
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Patrick: SpongeBob
SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick!
Patrick: Why is Sunday so close to Monday, and we can’t do anything? Monday to Sunday is so far away, and I’m getting bored of being idle!
SpongeBob: What day is it today?
Patrick: Today
SpongeBob: Oh… my favorite day!
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I’ve been waking up, eating, sleeping, feeling like I need a break for years.
Patrick
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Plankton: What exactly is this clown (Patrick) doing to our team?
SpongeBob: Loyal Plankton
Octopus: People talk loudly when they want to sound smart.
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Reporter: First of all, congratulations; what do you have to say to start?
Mr. Krabs: Hello, I like money
Reporter: What made you build your second restaurant right next to your first one
Mr. Krabs: Marbles
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SpongeBob: Patrick, can you hear Saddam?
Patrick: No, it’s too dark in here
Sandy Cheeks: If you want to be my friend, just be yourself.
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SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs says I have to leave as soon as possible
Patrick: When does he say that?
SpongeBob: When he wants to go to the bathroom!
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Mr. Krabs: You’re fired, Patrick
Patrick: But Mr. Krabs, I don’t work for you!
Mr. Krabs: Well, you’re hired now
Patrick: Really!
Mr. Krabs: You’re fired now…
SpongeBob: If you accept yourself and play a little trick, all your dreams will come true.
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Too bad SpongeBob isn’t here to enjoy his absence!
Octopus
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SpongeBob: Let’s find the octopus, then we’ll go jellyfish hunting together.
Patrick: But he doesn’t love us.
SpongeBob: He loves us, but he doesn’t know it yet.
Patrick: Bob, I came to borrow your fridge…
SpongeBob: What about your fridge?!…
Patrick: It’s empty
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Patrick: I’m buying a plane made of gold
SpongeBob: A plane made of gold can’t fly
Patrick: We have money now; the laws of physics don’t affect us!
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Success means that your effort today is greater than yesterday.
SpongeBob
Patrick: Knowledge can never replace friendship.
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Fish: This isn’t fair!
Patrick: Life is never fair, buddy; try to make it work.
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Patrick: Hey SpongeBob, do you know what’s worse than a hundred obscenities?
SpongeBob: No, Patrick, what’s worse than a hundred swear words?
Patrick: Two hundred obscenities.
Patrick: Sometimes, you have to go deep inside yourself to solve your problems.
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Sometimes, “no” is my “yes.”
Patrick
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Crab: This monster wants to throw us in oil and make chips out of us.
Patrick: Oh, man. Then I can eat myself.
SpongeBob: What do you usually do when I’m not around? …
Patrick: I’ll wait until you get back.
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Life is like a can of peanut butter; when you open it, you see it’s gone.
Patrick
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Patrick: We’re not kids.
SpongeBob: Open your eyes, Patrick. We blow bubbles, we eat ice cream, and we love Googly Moogly Peanuts! What do you call these?
SpongeBob SquarePants: No one can change another person, but they can be a reason for that person to change.
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SpongeBob: Hey Patrick, shouldn’t you go play dumb somewhere else?
Patrick: Not until 4 o’clock.
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If I can’t be your friend, at least let me keep a souvenir for you.
Patrick
Finally
We hope you enjoyed reading the best dialogues of SpongeBob and Patrick. Due to the high popularity of this cartoon character, nickelodeon, the creator of the SpongeBob series, has produced and released 13 seasons of SpongeBob’s adventures. The SpongeBob cartoon has so far won 46 awards from prestigious animation festivals worldwide.
